


Lightning Reflexes

by neoncity



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Iron Dad, Iron Dad & Spiderson, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Platonic Spideypool, Team Red
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 18:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20532416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoncity/pseuds/neoncity
Summary: In hindsight, staying on a skyscraper roof during a lighting storm wasn't the best of ideas.





	Lightning Reflexes

The view from the top of the building was amazing, reason for why they spent so much time on the rooftops. Peter crumbled up his wrapper, tossing it into the empty box his burger had come in. 

"You're done already?"

Matt looked at him in surprise. Peter shrugged. "I'm a fast eater"  
The man shot him an incredulous look. "Yea no kidding"

"Oh yea? I bet I could finish a burger before you do, baby boy" Wade said, taking a huge bite out of his Crispy McBacon.

"I literally just finished before you" Peter pointed out.

Wade waved that away. "I meant some other time, not right this second."

"One burger? If you guys want to do an eating contest it should be at least 10 burgers" Matt interjected.

"And who's going to pay for all the burgers?" Peter answered.

"You?" suggested Wade.

Peter took a long sip of coke before answering, the fizzy drink refreshing after the dryness of the burger.  
"I'm 16, I don't even have a job."

"I meant Stark could pay for them if you asked him."

Wade pulled out his seventh? Eight? burger and plowed into it readily. Beating him in an eating contest would _not_be easy. Peter's stomach growled.

Matt offered him a handful of chicken nuggets, which Peter accepted gratefully.

"I mean, I'm sure Tony has the money, but lending it to me for something as stupid as an eating contest is a diffrent matter" he explained.

"Your suit cost like a few milions to make, I'm sure he could spare a few hundreds" Wade grumbled.

"He also doesn't like you very much" Peter added.

This was very true. Tony was not a fan of Wade, and had tried for months to keep him away from Peter. After a while, he'd given up, resigning himself to repeatedly warning Peter about the man and pointedly ignoring or threatening Wade himself, which Wade found incredibly amusing. 

Wade gasped, bringing his hands to his chest in mock horror. "Moi?"

As if Peter didn't already know the risks of hanging out with the most (in)famous mercenary of the state.

"To be fair, you're not exactly a great influence on him" Matt said.

"You're the one who taught him to throw knives blindfolded!" cried Wade.

Peter rolled his eyes at their arguing, staring off into the distance.

"It's a useful skill!"

What was that in the distance? It looked like..storm clouds?

Wade gave Matt a look.

"You know I can't see that." Matt grumbled.

"Fine, then we're _both_ bad influences, happy now?" he added.

Peter spoke up.

"It's gonna rain"

Matt stretched and got up. "In that case, I'm going."

Dark clouds were amassing in the distance, getting closer by the second.  
"Why?" asked Wade around a mouthful of burger.

Matt shot him a confused look. "Why? Rain. I'm not eating a soggy burger."

"You'll finish it before the storm hits us" Peter pointed out.

"Besides, are you afraid of a little water?" added Wade.

It was a challenge, they all knew it. "All right." Grumbled Matt.  
He sat back down.  
"We're on"

Twenty minutes later, it was raining buckets  
They were sitting cross legged on the concrete ceiling, soaked to the skin. Wade was humming happily, seemingly not bothered by the rain. Matt was grumbling about the stupidity of the whole situation under his breath. 

"I hate this" he grumbled, squeezing water from his mask. 

"No one's forcing you to stay up here" Peter pointed out. 

Matt scowled, but fell silent.

Peter was seriously regretting agreeing to the challenge. He'd fallen into a river once (Okay, more than once) while wearing the suit, and it had taken a day and a half to dry. This was even worse. Still, he couldn't be the first one to chicken out.   
Thunder rumbled in the distance and Wade perked up excitedly.

"Ooh, this is exciting! If we have thunder we'll get-"

"-lightning, we know" Matt said through his hands.

"I was going to say Thor, but sure."

Lightning lit up the sky.

"Well, not necessarily" Matt argued. "Thor doesn't always follow thunder" 

"Oh yeah? Can you prove that-"

"Almost 5 seconds" Peter announced.

Both men stopped talking.

"As random outbursts go, that wasn't bad" Wade told him

"What- no I was counting the seconds between the thunder and the lightning"

"It's about a mile from us, by the way" he added.  
Mr. Stark had taught him how to calculate how far away lightning was. It was rather easy.  
"Am I the only one worried about getting hit by lightning?" Matt asked.

"Yes." Wade and Peter told him.

"Like I said, a mile" Peter said.

"Yea but it's not necessarily going to stay that way-"

Thunder rumbled again, and Matt flinched. "Okay Wade can't tecnically die but why aren't you worried Peter?"

Peter bounced up and down on the balls of his feet. 'I kinda want to get hit by lightning" He admitted.  
Matt covered his face with his hands, taking a deep breath. Then he exclaimed "Why?!"

"It'll be cool?"

"_That's_ the reason?"

The rain started coming down harder, drowning out their conversation.

"Why are you so worried?" Peter asked. "I'm pretty sure you could dodge lightning or something"

"Wait can you?" Peter said, getting more excited by the minute.  
Matt didn't answer.  
"Wade! Do you think Matt can dodge lightning??"

"His reflexes suck but we should definitely stay up here and test it out." Wade called back

"For the. _last time_, throwing a plate at my head while I'm fighting 4 people and yelling reflexes _after_ it's hit is not a valid way to test my reflexes!" Matt began indigantly.

"Why were you carrying a plate in the first place?" Peter interrupted.

"No reason. I've been wanting to hit Matt over the head with a plate since the day I met him. " 

"Oh mood."

"Hey!" Matt protested. 

The hairs on Peter's arms were standing on end, and his spider sense was tingling.  
A low hum filled the air, then what sounded like hissing and crackling.  
"Guys?" He said slowly.

His hair stood on end, as did Matt's as he and Wade looked around uneasily.

Suddenly, his spidey sense went crazy and his body reacted instinctively. Peter threw himself off the building.  
Time seemed to slow and a blinding light shot through Peter's vision. He felt like he was floating, weightless.  
Then a deafing explosion brought him back and he shot a web at the building's side, swinging himself back and landing on the glass, clinging to it with trembling hands.  
The wind howled and twisted around him, battering his body with rain.  
He crawled back to the top of the building and collapsed on the concrete.  
He was shaking.

"Well." 

Wade broke the silence. "I stand corrected. You i>do have good reflexes" 

Matt had realized what was happening and had taken cover at about the same time as Peter.  
Wade, on the other hand, had taken the full brunt of it. 

"It took us getting hit by lightning for you to admit that???"

"Technically only _I_ got hit by lightning" 

Peter lay on the floor, he shock ebbing away, being replaced by glee.  
"Oh my god" he groaned. "That was actually awesome."

"I think I just died." Matt said.

"Let's do that again." Peter exclaimed.

"What is wrong with you??" 

"And is the challenge still on?" He added, clearly expecting no as an answer.

"Duh." Said Peter.

"Yeah man do you even have to ask?" Wade added.

Something hard hit Peter on the arm and he yelped in surprise. "Did you guys feel that?" he asked.

"It's hailing" Wade announced.

"Screw this" Matt muttered, rising to his feet.

"I'm out" with that, he walked to the door that led to the roof, the wind slamming the door behind him.

"So he's fine with almost being hit by lightning, but _hail's_ the last straw?" Peter asked incredulously.

"The guy's weird."

"Oh that's rich coming from you."

"Says the guy who once-" Wade began. 

Peter cut him off. "Shh, Tony's calling me."

"KAREN, pick up please."

Tony's face filled the inside of peter's mask.

"Hi Tony-"

"I just got an alert from KAREN your vitals were _off the chart_ for a hot second there what happened??"

Peter swallowed.

"I- it's nothing Tony everything's fine now-"

"What happened?" 

Peter could hear Wade snickering behind him.

"There was lightning and?"

"You were hit by lighting??"

"Technically Wade was hit by lighting-"

"Where are you??"

Wade was now full on laughing.

"On the roof of a building?"

Tony's voice was bordering hysteria.

"Why? we're in the middle of a lightning storm in case you havn't noticed??

"We're kinda doing a challenge" Peter mumbled.

"That's it i'm sending a suit to pick you up."

"No please wait-"

Call ended.

Peter stared at the screen in horror.

"Looks like victory is mine" Wade said gleefully.

"Aw come on, this isn't fair."

"No one said anything about being forcefully removed from the challenge" Wade said.  
"Hell, I would've called Stark myself had I thought of it" he added.  
An Ironman suit landed on the roof, and Peter jumped back in surprise.

That had been fast.

"Your aunt is going to kill me" it informed him. 

"And you" it turned to Wade, who waved happily.

"Stay away from Peter"

It turned back to Peter. "Let's go."

"Bye kid! See you tomorrow!" Wade called.

Once out of earshot, the suit asked.  
"You're not really going to see him again tomorrow, are you?"  
"Well..."  
"Oh my god." It stared at Peter disapprovingly.  
"I'm disowning you"  
"Sure, Jan."

**Author's Note:**

> Calculating the distance lighting is from you really is easy btw, it's something my dad taught me so I figured it'd be nice if Tony taught Peter.  
Anyways thank you for reading! Please kudos and leave a comment!


End file.
